Missile Mayhem

Missile Mayhem is an Event during which you are hailed by a frantic frog whose missiles have turned against him. Upon deciding to help, you enter combat against Soggin’s Very Cool Ship, a Missiler class ship with the Missile Malfunction debuff.

This event can appear in Zone 1 or Zone 2.

Options

Prompt

• Help the toad.
  • Enter... combat?
• Do not help.

If you choose to help Soggins, you must prevent him from dying to his own missiles for 5 turns ( Hardmode: 6 turns). If you succeed, you get to pick a reward!

Rewards

• This hard drive I found earlier!
  • Gain Missile Malware
• My precious seeker missiles!
  • Gain Seeker
• An artifact I found!
  • Gain a random Common artifact.
• Nevermind.

Dialogue

First encounter
//cat.exe We're getting a weird emergency signal.
//cat.exe This says a friendly ship is under attack from... themselves?
Soggins Hello?! Is this thing on?!
Soggins I made a big ol' mistake!!!
Soggins My missiles!!! Please help!!!
Dizzy Could be fun! Riggs What's the worst that could happen? Peri Sounds like a trap. Isaac He seems like a sweet boy. Drake Let's explode the frog.
//cat.exe So... do we help him?

Second encounter
//cat.exe Emergency transmission coming in!
Soggins Help! My missiles!
//cat.exe Ah, it's this toad again.
Soggins I'm actually a frog.

Third encounter
Soggins Hi! How's your loop going?
//cat.exe Fine, you?
Soggins Great! I installed a hot tub in the bridge of my ship!
Soggins But... I keep raising the temperature and it doesn't feel like it's getting any warmer!
//cat.exe ...
//cat.exe So... missiles again?
Soggins Yes please.

Fourth encounter
Soggins Missiles turn off, how.
//cat.exe Excuse me?
Soggins Oh sorry, I was performing a search query with my onboard computer.
Soggins How can I help you?
//cat.exe You called us!!!
Soggins Oh, right. Missiles turn off, how?

Fifth & subsequent encounters
Soggins My missiles! They're backwards!
Dizzy Dude, if you just restart the missile console in safe mode... you know what forget it. Riggs I like this guy, he's funny. Peri Again with this. Isaac He doesn't seem to be making any progress... Drake ... Max Dude PLEASE just read the manual. Books Golly! That prince is in trouble again! //cat.exe Wow, not even a friendly hello?
Soggins Missiles, pwease!

Do not help.
Soggins Okay! That's fine! You're probably really busy!
Soggins *cough* ho boy it's getting pretty smoky in here!

Combat

Combat start
Soggins Please don't shoot! I'm not hostile!
Dizzy Just unplug the missile terminal... Riggs This guy is a mess. Peri We hear you. Isaac Stop reloading missiles! Drake Blow him up either way. Max Yeah, we know. Books Blow him up! I'm just kidding.

Combat Turn 2
Soggins I'm trying to turn it off, hold on,

Combat Turn 3
Soggins I think the manual override is in this room somewhere...

Combat Turn 4
Soggins It keeps happening!

Soggins tries to escape
Soggins I fixed it! Wait no, I'm just out of missiles...
Dizzy Get out of there! Riggs Close enough! Hold on one moment longer! Peri Just hang on! Isaac Okay! Drake So NOW we blow him up, right? Max You need better virus protection, man. Books Good job, mister frog!

Soggins fails to escape
Soggins Uh... guys?
Riggs Oops! Try that again.

Soggins fails to escape (again)
Soggins Can I please leave now?
Dizzy Yeah! Sorry, didn't mean to push that button... Drake Sure, of course. Definitely not gonna stun you again. I promise. Max Huh? Oh, yeah. //cat.exe Can WE please leave now?

Soggins fails to escape (again and again)
Soggins ...
Random Char ...

Rewards

After successfully helping Soggins
Soggins Hey, I'm alive!
Soggins I can't thank you enough!
Soggins So, I won't.
Riggs ... Peri ... Isaac Seriously? Drake Try again. Max Dude. Books Rude! Rude!!! //cat.exe Really?
Soggins Okay fine. I offer you One Treat:

This hard drive I found earlier!
Soggins All yours!

My precious seeker missiles!
//cat.exe We're taking these away.
Soggins Okay! Fine! Take my missiles!
Soggins Whatever!!!

An artifact I found!
Soggins No, that's fine. I wasn't using that anyways.

Nevermind.
Soggins Okay, great!
Soggins I have learned nothing from this incident.
Soggins Well! Gotta be going!
//cat.exe Bye! Try not to die!

Other

After failing to help Soggins
//cat.exe Dang. We couldn't save him.
Soggins Hello?
Soggins Is this thing working?
//cat.exe Hey, he's alive!
Soggins If you're watching this: Hello, and welcome to my Video Will.
//cat.exe ...
//cat.exe Uh, let's keep going.

Special death message
YOU DIED TO THE TOAD??? WHAT HAPPENED???

Strategy

It is impossible for Soggins to damage you, and there is no penalty for failure, so usually it's fine to go ahead and try to get the rewards of this event. Even if Seeker or Missile Malware don't seem appealing to you, the random Artifact can be a great boon.

However, this event may cost you hull involuntarily if you have Thermo Reactor or Prototype 22. Thermo Reactor can result in you losing 1 hull if you cannot mitigate the Heat. Prototype 22 could cost you up to 12(!) hull if you somehow start with your Shield full and have no way to lose Shield (or gain Max Shield without gaining Shield), as Soggins will not damage you in this fight. So these artifacts, especially Prototype 22, can be reasons to skip this fight.

On the flip side, self-healing cards like Battle Repair or Leech can allow you to gain hull here, even if you're fairly sure you can't win.

Cockpit Lock-On and Fracture Detection will also be detrimental in this fight, but simply by making it harder.

When shooting down Soggin’s missiles, it is generally best to prioritize first the Acid Missiles, followed by all Missiles that are hitting Soggins's ship (including all Seekers).

Notes

• Soggin’s ship appears to be similar to the DX-3 “Missiler” that can be found as a common enemy encounter in this zone.
• Soggins is one of the few non-playable characters donning a unique frame instead of the default red associated with enemies.
• Dying in the combat encounter of this event gives a special death message.