Sports!

Sports! is an Event resembling a Football game (Soccer in North America), with you and an opponent ship fighting over the midrow Football. The event can be won either by shifting the Football to the left goal, or by destroying the opponent ship.

The excitement of sports lets you start the encounter with 1 Ace.The Football will be moved left for every point of damage you deal, including midrow collision damage, and it will be moved right for very point of damage the opponent ship deals. It is also affected by Droneshift. On its turn, the opponent ship will target the Football with an attack from its central cannon, attempting to move the ball to the right goal, which will cause you to lose the event.

This event can appear in Zone 1 or Zone 2, but only if Drake is unlocked.

Options

Prompt

• Sure, why not.
  • Enter Combat with Glorious Sport Arena
• We're kind of busy right now.

Rewards

Win

• Got any trophies?
  • Gain 1 of 3 Artifacts
• We'll take the ball.
  • Gain Sport Orb

Lose

• Can we have the ball?
  • Gain Sport Orb
• No thanks.

Dialogue

First encounter
Sasha Hey, hey, perfect! So glad you could make it!
//cat.exe Huh? Are you gonna try to blow us up?
Sasha No no, I'm the ref! Welcome to Sports!
Sasha The goal is... Well, the goal is the goal. Shoot the ball really hard to knock it into your goal. But don't shoot that other ship, that's a foul!
//cat.exe ...
//cat.exe We're not interested.
Sasha There's priiiiizes!

Subsequent encounters (1)
Sasha Sportsmaster general, once again coming to you live from Sports.
//cat.exe Is it worth it to stop?
Sasha Oh, I promise it is.

Subsequent encounters (2)
Sasha A little sport to pass the time?
//cat.exe We're on kind of an important mission right now.
Sasha Oh perfect, perfect! Then you'll need the rejuvenative power of sport!

Subsequent encounters (3)
Sasha Sports!
Dizzy Sure, okay, sports! Riggs ...Sports? Peri We don't have time for... ...Fine, alright, sports. Isaac Wow! Sports! Drake I'm going to trash talk the other team so hard. Max Ugh. Yeah, alright, sports. Books Wow! Sports?! //cat.exe ...Sports.
Sasha Sports!

Sure, why not.
Sasha Awesome! Let's go, let's go, let's go, SPORTS!

We're kind of busy right now.
Sasha Boo! Booo!!!
Sasha No, I'm kidding, that's cool. See you later!

Combat

After Player hits Soccer Ball

Each variation is only shouted once per combat. Sasha Sports! Sasha Sports?! Sasha Let's see some action! Sasha Good clean day for sports! Sasha Good hustle! Sasha Wow! Incredible! Sasha A new record!!! Sasha Wow! Sasha Incredible shot! Sasha Good hit! Sasha Fantastic stuff! Sasha I don't know why other sports AREN'T played with cannons. Sasha Sport-tacular! Sasha Amazing hit! Sasha Fantastic shot!

First Yellow Card
Sasha Hey! Yellow card! No shooting the other players!

Second Yellow Card
Sasha That's two yellow cards! One more and you're OUTTA HERE, bub!

Third Yellow Card (Lose)
Sasha That's it! Unsportsmanlike behavior!
Sasha Game called, you lose. Get outta here!

Rewards

You Win
Sasha GOAL!!!
Sasha What prize do you want?

You Win (Blew up Opponent Ship)
Sasha Huh. That's not very sportsmanlike.
Sasha Creative, though! Congrats! What prize do you want?

You Win - Take Artifact
Sasha Enjoy your trophy! Return for more sport sometime!

You Win - Take the Ball
Sasha True sportsketeers! Fantastic!
Sasha Sports!!!

You Lose
Sasha GOAL!!!
Sasha Sorry, you lose. Good match, though! Consolation prize?

You Lose - After any choice
Sasha Better luck next time!

Strategy

The intended strategy for beating this event is to fire at, launch midrow objects at, or Droneshift the Football into the left goal. This is typically fairly easy, as the opponent ship deals very little damage to the orb. While the opponent ship always targets the Football instead of the player, moving the Orb out of the opponent ship's attack *will* allow it to damage you. For this reason, having some amount of shield or evade is recommended for this event.

This event can also be won by destroying the opponent ship, which isn't too difficult given its low health total, or by removing your goal from the game via either Medusa Field or Catch. However, your first shot that damages the opponent ship each turn will trigger dialogue from Sasha calling you unsportsmanlike, and add a Yellow Card to your hand. This card is temporary and unplayable, and if you accumulate three of them, you will lose the event and gain no rewards.

Rewards

Winning the event by destroying the opponent ship or moving the ball to your goal will give you the option between choosing one of three Artifacts, or obtaining the Sport Orb card. Losing the event will still allow you to obtain Sport Orb, but you will not be offered the choice of an Artifact. Losing due to bad sportsmanship will give you no rewards.

The Football is unpredictable, and is near-impossible to strategize with. However, if you have poor defense, and a ship with a low profile like the Ares, it may be useful for avoiding attacks as the orb bounces between you and the enemy. (Amusingly, it can be quite effective against The Dreadnought thanks to its specific, consistent firing pattern.)

Notes

• Sasha is one of the few non-playable characters donning a unique frame instead of the default red associated with enemies.

Patch Changes

• Patch 1.0.6 (2023-12-20)
  • Added.